Life Is Precious – Život Je Dragocen

On Thursday night, 17th November 2005, I was preparing for the trip home, to Trstenik. The trip itself was planned for Friday, so I was contemplating on what I must do before I go. Monday, 21st was my family’s celebration, the day dedicated to Saint Archangel Michael, so I had to be in Trstenik. The weather has been great all week, but the weather reports said that Friday night would be a mess – rain, snow, cold… That was worrying me a bit, but not too much. Then I realized that on Tuesday, 22nd my parents would have their 30th anniversary in marriage together. My father is 68, and my mother 55, so I was like “Hey, man, this could be their last anniversary that ends up with zero, you must buy them something good.” I decided to look something up here in Belgrade, and fell asleep.
On Friday morning I hurried up to work, called the bus station to check for the tickets, and they said that the tickets were still available. When I finished all my work, I walked around town looking for a present, some set of dishes, or something. Money was no problem, but the weight was. I already had a bag that weighed some 14 lbs., and the dishes would be extra 10, so I decided to put my fortune in Trstenik’s shops.
When I got home, still uncertain of whether I would go because of the weather, I packed and sat to rest for a while. Then I remembered when that bus collapsed in Tisa river, back in May this year, and 17 people died. So I traveled the road in my head, and realized that there’s the bridge over Great Morava, and I just froze. I imagined myself helplessly kicking the window of a bus trying to break it, as the cold dirty water penetrated the bus, and I felt really scared. Not scared of death so much as scared of dying by drowning.
I phoned the bus station again, and they said there’s 13 tickets left. The bad-luck 13, I thought, trying to persuade myself that everything is going to be just fine. At 1900 hrs I left for the bus station, but I prayed to God for the tickets to be sold out, because I was still scared. When I got there, and asked the lady at the counter for the ticket. When she said they were sold out, I sighed with relief. So I waited for my brother, took his things, bought the ticket for Saturday morning, and headed back to my place in Belgrade.
When I got there, I felt strange. I was grateful to God for the tickets being sold out, but I had this fear for the people who got onboard. It seemed as if somehow deep down I wanted that bus to crash somewhere, so I prayed to the Lord to bring those people home safely, which eventually happened. That night I was grateful to God for three things: the fact that the tickets have been sold out, the fact that no accident happened to the bus, and that I became aware in such “a priori” way of fragility of human life and it’s preciousness.
Saturday morning, on a beautiful day I headed for Trstenik. It was great as usual, I even saw Radula, and his pregnant wife Zorica, we had a couple of beers…
Sunday was a day reserved for the old Serbian tradition of slaughtering the pig. My dad and I went to our friend in a village near Trstenik, and he chose one of about 90-100 lbs. I remembered when I was a kid, I always wanted to watch the pig being slaughtered, but the parents always forbid me. Now, for the first time, I’ve been given the opportunity, but I wished I haven’t. And, actually, I didn’t directly watch, the pig had it’s back towards me, and I only heard it scream. It reminded me of the ear-cutting scene from the “Reservoir Dogs”. While the pig had it’s last moments on this planet, I understood why the vegetarians object to slaughtering of animals for human food and clothes. Although, last Saturday I had the opportunity to eat still hot and very juicy pig roast, and realized that the vegetarians are just stupid.
Monday was OK, I helped a bit with the celebration, and around 2000 hrs I went to see Škrinjar. We had a couple of beers, went to play some billiard, and it was great.
Tuesday I slept for quite some time, because the alcohol has got to me, and when I finally got up, the first thing was to buy my parents a gift. I decided to buy them a set of dishes, triangular with round edges, and it totally blew them off.
Those days I learned that life is very precious, and it can be ended in a second, so I think I love it more now. I also understood all those movies and books, that say that we must care for each other ARE actually right, and I learned it the easy way.


U četvrtak uveče, 17-og novembra 2005 sam se pripremao polako za put kući, u Trstenik. Sam put sam bio planirao za petak, pa sam natenane razmišljao o tome šta još treba da uradim pre nego krenem. U ponedeljak, 21-og je bila slava, Aranđelovdan, i morao sam biti u Trsteniku. Vreme je cele nedelje bilo prelepo, ali su za petak najavljivali kišu, sneg i zahleđenje. To me je malo zabrinjavalo, ali ne previše. A onda sam shvatio da je mojim roditeljima u utorak, 22-og tridesetogodišnjica braka, pa sam pomislio, pa čoveče, ćale ima 68 godina, a keva 55, ovo im je možda poslednja godišnjica koja se završava nulom – moraš da im kupiš nešto što će ih oduševiti. Rešio sam da nešto potražim u Beogradu i otišao sam na spavanje.
U petak ujutru sam poranio na posao, nazvao autobusku stanicu da proverim ima li još karata, i rekli su da ima. Kada sam završio sa poslom, procunjao sam gradom da potražim neki poklon, neki komplet tanjira ili tako nešto. Novac nije bio problem, ali masa jeste – već sam imao torbu od nekih 5-6 Kg, a ovaj poklon bi dodao još nekih 4-5, tako da sam se pouzdao u prodavnice Trstenika.
Kada sam stigao u stan u Beogradu, još uvek nesiguran da li ću krenuti ili ne, spakovao sam se i seo da malo odmorim. Tada sam se setio onog autobusa koji se survao u Tisu u maju ove godine, kada je valjda 17 ljudi poginulo. U glavi sam prešao put kojim ide autobus, i setio se da prelazi Veliku Moravu, i tad sam se smrz’o. Zamislio sam sebe kako bezuspešno pokušavam da polomim prozor autobusa dok hladna i mutna Morava nadire u njega, i zaista sam se uplašio. Ne toliko same smrti, koliko umiranja od davljenja.
Ponovo sam pozvao autobusku stanicu, kažu ima još 13 karata. Nesrećnih 13, pomislio sam sve se ubeđujući da će sve biti u redu. Oko 19h sam krenuo ka stanici, sve moleći Boga da karte budu rasprodate. Kada sam stigao na stanicu i kada mi je žena rekla da karata više nema, zaista sam odahnuo. Sačekao sam brata, uzeo njegove stvari, kupio kartu za subotu ujutru i krenuo nazad ka stanu.
Kad sam stigao tamo, imao sam čudan osećaj. Bio sam zahvalan Bogu što više nije bilo karata, ali sam imao neki čudan strah za ljude koji su se ukrcali. Kao da sam negde duboko u sebi želeo da se taj autobus negde sunovrati, tako da sam molio Boga da ih srećno dovede kući, što se na kraju i desilo. Te noći sam bio zahvalan Bogu na tri stvari: što su karte bile rasprodate, što je autobus stigao na konačno odredište bezbedno i što sam tako, “a priori” postao svestan krhkosti ljudskog života i njegove dragocenosti.
U subotu ujutru, po prelepom vremenu sa otputovao u Trstenik. Bilo je super kao i obično, čak sam video Radulu i njegovu trudnu ženu Zoricu, popilo se po par piva…
Nedelja je bila rezervisana za staru srpsku tradiciju svinjokolja. Ćale i ja smo otišli do jednog našeg prijatelja, koji živi u obližnjem selu, i on je odabrao jedno od nekih 40-50 Kg. Sećam se kada sam bio mali da sam uvek želeo da gledam samo klanje, i kako su mi roditelji branili. Sada sam po prvi put imao priliku, ali sam želeo da nisam. I, zapravo, nisam gledao samo klanje, jer je prase meni bilo okrenuto leđima, samo sam mogao da čujem kako skiči. To me je podsetilo na scenu odsecanja uha iz “Uličnih Pasa”. Dok se svinja opraštala sa životom, shavtio sam vegetarijance koji se protive klanju životinja za ljudsku ishranu i odevanje. Doduše, prošle subote sam mio u prilici da jedem vruće pečenje mlade i sočne svinje i shvatio sam da su vegetarijanci – budale.
Ponedeljak je bio dobar dan, malo sam pomagao oko slave, a oko 8 sam otišao kod Škrinjara na rođendan. Popili smo po par piva, posle malo otišli na bilijar, i bilo je strava.
Kada sam se kasno probudio u utorak zbog alkohola, prvo što sam uradio je da roditeljima kupim poklon. Odlučio sam se za komplet tanjira, trougaonih sa zaobljenim stranama, i potpuno su se oduševili.
Tih dana sam shvatio koliko je život dragocen, kako se može okončati u trenutku i mislim da ga sada malo više volim. Takođe sam shvatio da svi oni filmovi, knjige i ostalo koji tvrde da moramo biti pažljivi jedni prema drugima JESU u pravu, i to sam naučio na lakši način.